• Jasmine

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

That was a question I was asked throughout my life.

I think I was in the first grade when I was first asked this. My aunt asked me and I remember saying something like I wanted to be a doctor. I'm not sure if I even understood the aspect of what a job was at that moment, or even what a doctor was, but all I remember is I received the approval of many family members.

On career day during elementary school we would usually be assigned a project on what we wanted to be. A teacher was what I wanted to be. I remember I really wanted to be one because they would receive Munchkins and cupcakes whenever it was someone's birthday. Their previous students or any student would ask teachers around if they wanted the extras. I was a foodie.

In middle school I deeply considered becoming a vet. I had started volunteering to walk Italian greyhounds and was obsessed with the YouTube channel called VetRanch. Matt, a vet himself would film his encounters with neglected or domesticated cats and dogs. He would film the problems with them, surgery and their healing process. I would watch every video that came out and was set on becoming one. I even called clinics around me, but they didn't take volunteers.

Twilight, Divergent, Hunger Games. I went through the fan girl stage with a cute male lover and a fearless protagonist. I fantasized a bit too much and though what I saw on the screen could be me. I was intrigued in becoming an actor or even an extra in the background. Maybe it was my curiosity with fame and flashing lights, but something unrealistic.

I would attend book events waiting hours before it would start and hours in line to speak with the author for thirty seconds. Maybe I was just a book worm. It was a no brainier, I wanted to be a young adult author or work the publishing industry.

It was an inside joke I had with my friends and even my mom but a garbage lady. If college or life doesn't work out for me, I could still make a fine living off the wages of this undesired job.

At every school event would could bet a dollar I was there. I was very involved in school clubs and volunteered a lot of my time. I enjoyed helping to prepare events or do little tasks. Giving back to people became a strong moral I had. It was fulfilling and rewarding. I started to shift towards healthcare and wanted to become a nurse. I had attended a summer program and came out of it more confused than focused. I wasn't sure if this was for me. There were ups and downs.

I spent a lot of my life in a car, bus or subway to travel to other cities or go downtown. I actually find staring out the window entertaining. I love looking at buildings specifically. I could do it for hours. From the facade, design, layout, color to size, buildings have always been so intricate and complex. When I walk down a street I think to myself flaws I see, or what I would of done. From proportions, unaligned objects to material selection . Even the homes in my neighborhood and my own house bother me. I think I just have OCD. Maybe I should be an architect or interior designer.

YouTuber. Ah yes, I think everyone has always wanted to be one or considered it. I first watched YouTube back in 2008 and became an avid watcher since 2013. From watching prank channels, family channels to daily vloggers, the website has taught me and exposed me to different things. I have always wanted to post my own videos, but a fear of putting myself out to the public has always freaked me out.

YouTube also connected me in wanting to become an animator. It brought out the creative artistic side of me as well as the author part of me that wanted to narrate and tell a story. I was inspired by channels like Swoozie, Odd 1s Out and Domics. I also have a hobby in painting and art, so working with animation studios has always been an interest.

I excelled at STEM classes, so why not be an engineer? As a kid I always thought that engineers just fixed cars, but they are much more than that. I attended programs and fell in love with mechanical engineering. I fell more in love of designing parts and creating them in 3D software. I could so it for hours.

Influenced from my family members and watching home renovation shows, I wanted to be a real estate agent. To continue I guess you can saw I am obsessed with homes and buildings. I loved the business and money aspect seeing how the market was shaped and how it was a very profitable industry.

I have always wanted the freedom of becoming a free lancer, unrestrained by the walls of a 9-5 cubicle job. It may be unrealistic but I do not want to become a corporate monkey climbing the ladder of positions and power. I know I am reflecting this based on a stereotype, but I would like to avoid an environment like this as much as possible. I would like to be my own boss or have a flexible schedule.

SoRrY that this list is so long :/ 

This list could continue for awhile. But the point is that I have many interests and plans.

It's not that I don't know what I want to be, it's just that I do not know how to make my answer finite. I am not one thing, and only one thing when I grow up. I know my job does not define who or what I am. I am much more than an occupation, but I do hope to incorporate my interests as much as I can to my adult life.

But it's scary to think that a job is something you are going to be doing for 45 years of your life. I think because I can not predict the future, I find it hard to imagine that. It is a life long commitment and dedication.

I have always been jealous of people who knew what they wanted to be when they grew up. They seemed to know what they were doing. At least they did. Quite honestly, I don't think anybody has a clue what they are doing.

A life moral that pertains to me is the balance of passion, happiness and money.

One can not coexist without the others.

How a job enters this equation? That's debatable.

I want to set myself up to be financially stable and independent that I can retire early. I want to enjoy my job that it doesn't feel like work. I want to be interested in what I am doing, while also getting rewarded proportionally. I want to make sure I pick the best match that aligns with my goals, but I understand that this is inevitability unrealistic. It does not hurt to have ambition to try though.

I think that it is the right move to switch around jobs. That's how you expand and learn. Just make sure you are not overdoing it where you are wasting your time. You can be side tracking yourself from maximizing a skill and finding fulfillment.

Besides just having a job, I think that it is important to have a side project (like this blog).

Now that you have gotten this far, you may ask me:

So what do you want to be when you grow up?

I am still not sure. The answer is not finite, it is infinite.